Minnesota Goodbye to Mexico Hello

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The "Minnesota Goodbye" is when hosts and visitors, voluntarily or out of a sense of hyper-politeness, extend the normally brief process of ending a social call from about two minutes to anywhere to an hour and beyond. It starts with the first glance at a watch and "well, we really should get going," continues with multiple offers of leftovers, duplicate photos, and assorted gifts from your hosts and conversational detours regarding the same, and ends with the esteemed visitors edging cautiously out the door, almost afraid to offend their benefactors by actually leaving. Enthusiastic waving from the car, even by tired children, may be required, especially if it is a holiday visit.

MGs are more common among family and close friends; casual acquaintances do not usually receive the honor. I like MGs as much as anyone else, and as far as I can tell most Minnesotans enjoy them as well. Either that, or it's so ingrained on the Northern identity that they can't escape them.

Contrast this with the Mexico Hello, the kiss on one cheek. I'm not sure whether this is a purely Mexican tradition, or whether it may also be a Southern hospitality thing, because we have some Anglo friends from the South, and this custom seems to come naturally to them. Anyway, I was genuinely shocked the first time someone I had just met grabbed me and kissed my cheek! Was I in France? (I have actually slipped a couple of times and kissed both cheeks, to my dismay and embarrassment.) Nobody informed me of this tradition before we moved. I knew my kids' blond hair would get rubbed by strangers in malls, but there was no mention of kissing.

Consider the potential culture clash between the Mexico Hello and the Minnesota Goodbye. I visit your house, and you greet me with a kiss on the cheek. After drinks, a nice dinner and conversation, you want to boot me out with a two minute goodbye, like yesterday's newspaper? Hours ago you were kissing my cheek! To a Minnesotan it is confusing.

I have now gotten more accustomed to the Mexico Hello; I actually think it is quite charming. I am no longer as surprised by it, but I sometimes still don't see it coming. So if you see a flash of confusion in my eyes as you greet me with the Mexico Hello, please know that I am not at all offended, quite the opposite. I am merely dealing with the readjustment of my cultural wiring.